There is new soft-core vampire p0rn on my television, and this makes me happy. Maybe I’m a sucker for “paranormal romance” or am just really shallow, but True Blood (and the Sookie Stackhouse books) tends to entertain me. Even when I don’t agree with everything they say.
I’m not sure if episode 3×01 “Bad Blood” grabbed me in the way other episodes of this show have. Maybe it’s because I’ve read the books, and I am really watching to see the differences in Alan Ball’s interpretation. Or perhaps it’s because the big drama surrounding Bill’s kidnapping (don’t care about boring Bill), Queen Sophie-Ann’s V-dealing (*yawn*), and Tara and her mama (already been there) aren’t compelling me. Oh, yeah, and Jason’s guilt over killing Eggs, which is just kind of funny because there’s yet another plot wrapped around Jason’s manhood. Did I just write that I liked Jason’s plot the best? *mind boggles*
Things I did like:
• Pam. There can never be enough Pam and her lesbian weirdness, no matter what Sookie says. Plus, her Fangtasia dress has a boob window! That’s right, she’s the vampire version of Power Girl. Of course, the vampires are required to dress the part when working the bar.
Later, we see Pam in a her purple dress with flowers and little cardigan. Which is far more Pam. I love when she scares Layfette, reminding him that even in her cardigan, she can easily kill him.
“I don’t know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember, I can rip your throat out if I need to. And also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago.”
I wear too much pink too, Pam.
• Naked Eric. Likewise, there can never been enough naked Eric Northman. Alexander Skarsgard does have to live up to the books. “If there was an international butt competition, Eric would win hands down — or cheeks up.” Is it just me or has he put on a little muscle since last season?
• Sookie’s dress. I feel like we got to see a lot more of it here. It was lovely. I want.
• “Conscience off, dick on.” Andy really can’t get any more hilarious than this. Same with his scene with Terry. I do think Andy got some of the best lines of the night, next to Pam and Lafayette.
• Real wolves. I was so afraid they’d just some odd animatronic wolves or CGI them. Great choice crew. (Now if they ever go and introduce Quinn, I wonder if they’ll get a real tiger.)
• Hoyt and Jessica. I love these two together. Of course, he leaves her flowers and hangs on her every word. And, of course, Jessica’s up to her elbows in trouble, trying to turn the man she accidentally kills. I love the scene where she badly wipes blood tears from her face and tells Sookie that everyone’s just fine. (Because Sookie would never notice that anyone else was upset.)
• Lafayette’s line to his Aunt Lettie Mae: “Bitch! Me and you, bridge [built between us], it ain’t ever gonna motherfuckin’ happen!”
• Arlene pointing out that all of them have dated serial killers. Which is true even for Sookie, if you count pre-synthetic blood vampires as serial killers.
Things I didn’t like:
• Sophie-Ann is just a continuing disappointment. Evan Rachel Woods can’t bring it like she should for this role.
• Tara. Seriously, can we just have less of the crazy and suicidal with her? Let the woman have some fun without tragedy for once. I thought we already buried her relationship with her mother, Lettie Mae. (Though it was funny to see Lettie Mae putting moves on the happily married Reverend Daniels.)
• Lettie Mae. Alan Ball just needs to kill or write her off. Charlaine Harris killed her off long before the books started, and that was a smart move.
• Sookie. Can she just once realize she needs to help people? It would be really nice to incorporate some of the smaller plots from Harris’ books where Sookie does indeed help others with her powers. (Of course, that really starts in fourth book, Dead to the World.)
• Conner from Ugly Betty playing a V-drinker/drainer hillbilly. Who ends up dead. Sigh, what a waste of an actor.
• There’s an app to look up dead people’s brands/tattoos? For your Blackberry? Did Apple not approve it because they can’t get behind Sam/Bill?
• Tara quoting Forest Gump. Really?
• Arlene’s knocked up again. Well, I can’t say it’s not surprising that she and Terry didn’t use any protection while under Maryanne’s spell last season.
Up in the air:
• Sam and Bill. I was so excited for this. (The one and only spoiler I knew about, besides what Alan Ball may or may not use from the books.) But I just didn’t feel the chemistry in the same way many others did.
• Bill’s encounter with the old woman. I’m not sure if True Blood is saying when it’s a matter of survival a vampire will save itself or if it’s hinting that Bill may not be as nice as he’s cracked up to be.
• Jason and the co-eds. I rather think I liked the evolution of Jason in the books compared to what I see on screen as it being forced by him seeing bullet holes in his “why does this always happen?” bisexual co-eds. I did, however, like the part where he picks them up at Merlotte’s and informs his new roommate Hoyt that he has to deal with the “pussy overflow.”
Overall, this episode was okay. It was entertaining, but didn’t leave me wanting more like a season opener should’ve. I think True Blood‘s suffering from too many plots and not enough screen-time. I’m looking most forward to more Pam this season.
I agree so much about Pam. She is so very Kathleen Turner in “Serial Mom” or Cameron Diaz in “A Life Less Ordinary” or “Very Bad Things”, all of which you must see if you haven’t. Pam, like Lafayette, is much better here than she is in the books.
I felt the Sam/Bill more than you did, but perhaps that’s because I wasn’t spoiled for it, and because it was so not in the books and therefore +1 for extra added homoeroticism.
All your other points pretty much read like the inside of my brain (and I won’t invoke the Tom Lenk line here, you scary person!), except that I weirdly liked Sophie-Ann. I agree that she’s not nearly as well-played as she could be, but I’m relieved by all the ways she’s not like the book version.
@Carole — I haven’t seen some of those movies. I’ll put them on list.
Pam, like Lafayette, is much better here than she is in the books.
Agreed. I feel Harris made up that thing about vampires going on pause because she didn’t know what lines to give to someone as sophisticated as even she portrays Pam.
I figured we’d be on the same page. 🙂
P.S., as relatively tepid as this episode was, after the ongoing atrocity of the Twilight Series, I’m just happy to be back in sweaty, slutty Southern vampire land, instead of weird sparkly Mormon vampire land. So all in all, it’s a huge win.
This review actually started on my rant about how True Blood > Twilight. I like my vampires non-sparkly (sparkles saved for unicorn meat) and non-Mormon, also evil.
Accurate! What bothered me the most was Tara, can she get any dumber?
I really wish Tara would get some better plotlines. She needs to not be the victim for at least one season.