True Blood 03×05 “Trouble” TV Review

Talbot and Eric
Gay or just Swedish Either way Talbot and I are so fighting over Eric

True Blood is truly back-in-style with the cliff hanger ending for this episode, Trouble. I wanted the next episode NOW. Damn you, soap opera about vampires, werewolves, and other supernatural creatures.

Okay, let’s talk about characters:

Bill — Still a son of a b—-. He’s all playing Russell (which Russell totally knows) and doesn’t save Tara. But he risks his play by going to warn his beloved Sookeh about Russell and the Nazi werewolves. He fails to mention that Sookie’s best friend is playing the part of the abused love-slave in an Antebellum reenactment with a crazy ass white vampire named Franklin.

Franklin, Lorena, Bill, and Russell
The party kids come home only to find out that someones let the incontinent dog in the house

Lorena — How can she be so hot with blood on her mouth? Why does she act like a puppy dog toward stupid Bill? I wish she’d just play cat and mouse with him because. Simply because.

Russell — He’s the best motivational speaker King ever. Yes, Russell’s pretty much pure evil, except when he’s playing Bert to Talbot’s Ernie. (Ernie totally decorates their house in yellow rubber duckies.) So yes, I can enjoy watching an evil character whom I’d never want to meet. But this may be because I’m reading Bright-Sided by Barbara Ehrenreich and am at the chapter about the evils of motivational speakers. Russell’s just much more forward about his blood drinking. Plus, I’m rather amused when Russell and Eric are in scenes together as Alexander Skarsgard is 12 feet tall.

Eric and Russell
Eric is the one man vampire basketball team They play at night and only wear cashmere

Sookie — That ending was just awesome. You go, girl. It makes up for Sookie not having sense to run the other direction after Debbie and her bad ’80s hair left.

Sookie blasts Cooter.
By the Power of Grayskull Sookie blasts Cooter with psychic energy

Alcide — Team Jacob for Adults. *yawn*

Colonel Flood — I’m really disappointed as he was such an honorable character in the books, and while he was initially upset about Alcide bringing Sookie into the Pack’s confidence, he ends up really respecting her. But at least this scene did give us Sookie’s nipple parade. (Thanks to the ladies at AfterEllen for pointing this out.)

Sookie and her nipples.
Charlaine Harris would never let Sookie go without a bra Shes a Southern Lady

Pam — Oh, wait, she wasn’t in this episode. -100, Ball.

Eric — Isn’t Eric becoming quite the angst muffin? I’m really betting the reason Godric turns him is because Eric’s hunting Russell and the Nazi werewolves, who leave Eric for dead, and Godric’s right on their trail. That would’ve been a better ending than Russell disappearing into the snow.

Eric having sex with the stable maid reminded me a little too much of Angel, boozing and whoring around while human. Just a smidgen. And this doesn’t help coming off the Nazi episode, which reminded me of Angel’s Nazi episode. *sigh*

Have I mentioned recently that I’m so glad he cut his hair? That wig was atrocious.

Eric mourns his dead father.
Eric gets emo I guess the upside here is that Eric didnt kill his family like every other vampire Like Angel did

Jason — Can he get stupider? Oh, there’s Crystal, so I guess he can. (She’s in the books, and they look to be going toward the same plot.) Kenya should kick his dumb ass.

Crystal and Jason
Officer Shirtless in his Magum PI glasses would like to see you for inspection

Arlene and Terry — Just adorable.

Lafayette and Jesus — Double adorable. I love them already.

Lafayette and Jesus
I hope they give Lafayette a nice stable relationship with Jesus

Sam and his messed up family — Again, still boring me. I got the incest vibe from White Trash Senior and Tommy. Or as this post suggested Tommy’s being used in dog fights and his daddy’s the dog owner. If Ball and company go there, wow.

Sam and his father
Worst dog trainer ever

Tara and Franklin — I’m so tired of Tara being abused. And watching her act the part of someone who’s been abused all her life and knows how to placate her abuser.

That said, why is Franklin’s abuse being played for so many laughs? The whole ‘watch me text fast’ was about as unfunny as unfunny gets. Perhaps because I can see Franklin is a textbook abuser. He’s the creepy, obsessive stalker. He’s Edward from Twilight without trying to make him romantic or sparkle instead of eat people. The scene where he started crying about Tara running away from him, I recognize that behavior from a mile away. But apparently, Franklin’s already amassing an internet fanbase who wants him to stay on next season.

Franklin and Tara
This is not funny This is abuse

Finally, what the f— was up with the scene of Tara running away. I don’t understand why True Blood is using classic Antebellum slavery imagery when it doesn’t fit the plot. This is not a flashback. This is not the early 1800’s. When they first costumed Tara in that nightgown, I had a hard time figuring out where I’d seen it before: Celie from The Color Purple. Seriously, Tara’s a starving, barefoot black woman dressed up an antique nightgown and still struggling free from her ropes running away from a Southern plantation home owned by a rich white man, in which she was the captive of another white man (Franklin as the prodigal son?), and being attacked by the landowner’s guard werewolf. She couldn’t have, you know, stolen a car? Dropped her ropes? Sometimes, I don’t even know what to say.

Tara runs from Franklin
What is going on here You cant tell me the writers actors and everyone else didnt notice this

Why, show, do I keep on watching?

Jason demonstrates how low True Blood can go Next week well find out how loose is its goose

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *