True Blood 4×06 “I Wish I Was the Moon” TV Review

Tommy is Sam.
OMG, Sam missed his True Blood reviews so badly.

So lately, True Blood has been “meh” for me, a bunch of set up. It hasn’t done anything except make me want to go on another rant about how much Ball hates the backwoods white trash. Also, when can Pam be pretty again?

(Seriously, gentle readers, putting on a con is hard work.)

My live-cap of True Blood “I Wish I Was the Moon.”

Finally some Sookie and Eric sexing. (Yes, I greatly appreciated the shirtless Eric swimming and playing Viking god against the gaters a few episodes ago.) Oh, Bill, you’re the biggest cockblock ever. Again. Also, he is being the psycho ex-boyfriend over the concerned King he’s attempting to be.

Pam describing Bill as a “self-loathing, power-hungry, pompous little dork” made me day. Yes, it seems that Pam’s read the Sookie Stackhouse books. I love you, Pam, even when you’re not pretty.

Pam is decaying
Poor Pam. Eric breaks her heart when he rejects their past together.

Of course, vampires use the now Microsoft-owned Skype. (I’d recognize that sound anywhere.)

Evil baby fire, yawn.

Sam calling out Andy is hilarious. Ooh, Holly and Andy, and how he completely skips the flirting and goes straight to the date. Hopefully, he’ll get his stuff together. (Wow, isn’t it sad when you live in such a small town that you make your dates at the place you work? (Of course, they did that on Cheers too, and that was set in Boston!))

Yum, yum, overcooked goat tongue with scary granddad.

Ooh, Tara’s girlfriend is in town, not happy, but wanting more. I approve.

Hahahaha, Tommy as Sam just fired Sookie. No doubt, Ball, was like “wow, Sookie misses way too much work for a waitress to still be employed.” Sam Trammell does a great job at acting like Tommy.

Oh, Sookie assuming that Jason tied to a bed is a sex thing. Of course, it does fit. I love her tough sister routine with “a were-what?” Yes, that’s what my boyfriend Jason said when I started telling him about the various were-animals in True Blood. Oh, Jason Stackhouse and his bad handcuff plans.

Wow, Debbie actually makes sense about how Alcide can’t be her entire world. My Sookie world is turned upside down. I guess this is what happens when the entire show’s not from Sookie’s POV.

Marnie should really know better than to call on spirits to consume her. Oh, great, more rape. Can we just stop with the rape, Ball? We get that vampires are evil assholes, and those Catholic vampires deserved what they got. And now, Marnie lost her body.

Why is that this sacrifice scene with Lafayette and Jesus trying to find an animal remind me of Willow and her deer in Buffy: the Vampire Slayer. But hey, good thing Jesus found that rattlesnake before it found him. Snakes are a goddess symbol.

“What are you going to do? Change my kitty litter?” Bwhaha, Jason Stackhouse. Sookie’s totally going to tell you that you’re part faery. Part faery and werepanther. Ridiculous. I love this show.

Sookie, didn’t you know that the moment you left, Jason would turn into a werepanther.

Boobs! Oh, Tommy, this is like that one time where Faith took Buffy’s body and had sex with Riley. That didn’t end up very well. Faith did go to prison.

Yes, Jessica sensed Jason’s fear. Finally some talk about this, beyond Sookie is special. Though Jessica, perhaps you should try a nude bra instead of a white one.

Oh, Alcide is like Dali Llama of weres. Bringing them all together in unity. Also killing the myth about were-bites. I can’t figure out if Ball didn’t like that or it was just one more way to make HotShot look stupid. Again. Or he’s like “ha, book readers, you don’t know what’s going to happen next.”

Tommy has post-sex anxiety. Luna’s totally going to think that Tommy killed Sam. Too bad she didn’t stick around. Or maybe that’s for the better.

I love how soft and shiny Eric is winning over Bill. (Wait, shouldn’t Eric be able to heal Pam with his blood?) Sookie just attracts the fluffiest vampires. Seriously though, this whole soulful Eric is way too much Spike with a soul trying to win over Buffy for me. Except that Spike would never tell Angel that he hopes Buffy dates Angel after he’s dead. Never.

Jesus can’t die! Phew.

I really like Naomi. However, I’m kind of wondering what’s her angle. She’s too nice for this show. I know better. Or if she’s going to be a vehicle for more Tara pain or to get Sookie to NOLA. (Though we haven’t seen more of Hunter or Hadley.)

Did the King also promise no more cockblocking, Eric?

Eric meets Sookie in the woods.
I wish Ball had thrown in a line about those being Jason's basketball clothing. +10 for Harris explaining the bad clothing.

Looks like Bill made time in his schedule to be all emo, and not watch the crazy, crazy witch in his house. This is what happens when you get all distracted by feeling Sookie bone Eric, Bill. Nan isn’t going to like that.

Emo King Bill
Which is worse? Accidentally sexing up your great-great -granddaughter or giving your love to your enemy? Emo Bill needs some Coldplay, an episode of Grey's Anatomy, and some ice cream. Stat.

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